My Soft Heart of India

Today marks two years since our mum passed away .

What a day like today sees me doing is  remembering  all the things that she liked , what she did and just how much of a wonderful mother she was to me and my 2 sisters, and a loving Grandmother or “Nettie” as she liked  to be called .

( Nettie was the name given to her by my cousins , and it has just stuck )

We never wanted for anything, we were brought up well by our parents , and i truly believe that our upbringing has molded us to be the people we are today .

One of the last things my mum wanted to tell me was that she thought i was capable of anything .

The conversation had been about me and having been given some responsibilities whilst she was sick in hospital , and as usual i would say to her “oh why me ” ( as i am the eldest daughter )  and she looked at me and said very seriously …..”because you are capable “

Those words have resonated with me for the past few years , and now i am starting to understand what she meant .

She watched me travel the world alone , live by myself and help raise my nephew and young cousins over the years .

So i suppose i now should believe her words and do her proud .

When i was in  Varanasi  India in 2013 , i was able to go on a lovely boat ride and do my own dedication to her , by placing flowers and a  lit candle onto the floating   Ganges  river.

The dedication allowed me to see that wherever i find myself in this world i will always have her with me .

I can only hope that she would continue to be proud of me and the life that i live, i often think about what she would say but mostly i miss being able  to tell her about the special people in my life.

                ( but i think she knows and approves ) xx

She knew what India meant to me and watched me travel there a few times , knowing that i would always return with treasures in my bags and many stories to tell .

She loved looking at all my pictures and hearing about all the things that i did , and getting to know about all the lovely people who I got to meet .

I think she knew that I would keep returning there as she would often tell her friends about my adventures.

i always felt that she was very happy that i had decided to be traveler , as she loved her travel shows and we would watch them together and i would often say to her “been there ” and she would laugh ..and say  “of course “

And that banter went on between us for years and years about me and my travels .

i miss her terribly as there are so many things that i would like to talk to her about as i get older and things that are happening in my life these days .

i can only pray that she is watching over me , and guiding me , she only ever wanted me to be happy with my life .

Knowing that i have so much love to give and share i feel that i am on the right path .

I am proud to be her daughter , she was a very loved lady , and she still is.

She may be gone from us here on earth , but not from our hearts .